Hello all. It’s been awhile since I have last posted.
We all care, dear. It just takes a moment to find out.
To put your faith back and restore your trust.
We all have a purpose, you just have to set out and discover your own.
“Purpose in Life” by Joshua Phelps
Today calls for a special post. Today calls for appreciating every minute you spend with your family, with your significant other, and with your friends.
You never know what you truly have until it’s gone.
Why am I getting emotional and heartfelt?
I have my reasons. Especially one that’s been on my mind since last night.
You see, an individual I’ve known for a few years took his life last night. He gave no warning, except on the hour he was going to kill himself.
He set a date to take his life, and it didn’t even faze him. He came to accept death (by force) as something that just happens.
At first, I didn’t want to believe it. This guy was well-known amongst colleagues, past and present friends, and his co-workers. No one expected this to happen. I remember him being the guy who kept to himself. We all did.
And last night, around 6pm, he set on to kill himself. I caught his post just as he posted it. You can’t avoid something like that. I couldn’t avoid it. I’ve had suicidal tendencies in the past. I’ve tried to take my own life. Never in my life do I want someone else to go through something as bad as taking your life away.
What could I do to help him? Nothing.
That’s right. It wasn’t the distance between us, it was the fact he gave up on humanity. He hated everyone around him.
Even if we had a longer warning, I’m afraid he still wouldn’t listen.
Reading his post, he explains that life around him was just a game. He would set goals to prolong suicide, making sure he succeeded in what he wanted to accomplish. Many times he succeeded his goals. However, this year was different.
He didn’t meet his internal quota. His goal was to find a girlfriend by the end of the year. A person he cared about. Sadly, he didn’t find anyone whom he could have an emotional bond with.
It sounds stupid trying to type it out, but you’ve got to hear me out.
I’ve read his blog a few times to understand what was going on in his mind. It seems neglect played a major part in the guy developing suicidal tendencies. I’m sure there are more underlying problems, but that’s all I could get from that post.
When you’re neglected for some time, especially by those you love, you tend to reside inside yourself. You lose hope in others, lose faith in others, and lose faith in religion. Your only friend at this point is your own mind keeping you company.
This is the part where after time, the person eventually gets better, or resides deeper within their mental state. Unfortunately for him, he chose the latter route. Something inside him convinced him that life is somehow a game, or what it seems like life is a game.
Making goals was the only thing keeping him going. He kept it on for so long that even if you tried to convince him life was more than just getting by, I’m sure he would just shrug it off. His early sense of hatred for humanity took over his warped perception of life.
It’s funny how much you know a person, and the next day, they make a complete three-sixty and prove you otherwise.
I’m sorry he took his life. There was nothing we could have done to change his mindset.
We can change ours, though.
People, I’ve been down this road before. I’m sure some of you have, too. We know what it’s like to hurt, be hurt, or know what it’s like to lose someone we care about.
It’s natural to grieve. And that’s what we should do.
However, we should use his death as an example that life is not a game.
There’s more to than “just getting by.” You may think you don’t have a purpose, but believe me, you do. You just don’t know it yet.
There are people who care about you. People who love you. For those who are suicidal, take a second to think who you will be leaving. Don’t think they won’t miss you. For a second, put yourself in their shoes.
Do you have any idea how much they’d miss you? Do you have any clue how much hell you will put them through knowing they could have done something to save you, but couldn’t because you didn’t speak up?
Exactly. Instead of putting that gun to your cheek, putting the noose around your neck, or stepping off that ledge, take a second to think long and hard about what you’re doing.
You are not lost. You are loved.