Ah, love. It’s great, isn’t it? Late 2012 sparked a revolution inside me. I wanted to blast past the standard format of poetry. Granted, I was already doing that, this was to merge poetry with short stories. (As I did with the five part “The Hunt” poems in the past.)
“Thoughts and Actions” (Like the name? The name sparked the website’s domain name.) was one of the poems that sparked a fire within me. I wanted to create a scenario where the reader could visualize being in that moment. I started simple, so simple that you can watch any reality drama TV show and know what I’m talking about. Let’s take a gander at what I wrote on December 19th, 2012.
Thoughts and Actions
Written by: Joshua Phelps
Originally published to: Hello Poetry
The underlying messages you are trying to hide,
displaying tension in the most enigmatic approach,
my mind, solving, and portraying what you meant to say
A year into the unknown couple’s relationship, tensions are starting to arise. Neither show it physically, but the little things start to add up. … And then she finally breaks the news to him. (Next set of lines.)
You say it’s an ideal we separate,
Brilliant that you kept it hidden,
a hole in my heart you currently made
a void I am forced to fill-in.
With the truth out there, the pain so fresh, the man is eventually forced to fill the void with something else. (Substance. This submission does not say so, but it most definitely ended up that way.)
Where can I go?
You haven’t told me.
Sweetheart, there’s no need.
You’re trembling, I’m shaking.
Our young love
Matured to the point
of split division between
one grown woman and a fool.
He can’t believe after all these years, she was ready to get up and leave him just like that. Young love, in some cases, ends up dying out once they reach their mid-20s. The woman, who is trembling, is afraid of what might happen next. She’s scared for him, but mostly for her.
She never gave a real reason why.
Which causes him to doubt. Was it worth it? He thought himself as a fool for ever dating her.
He eventually head’s out to clear his head.
“I’m heading out.” I mumble,
Automatically pushing my legs,
“Do you have a place to stay?”
“I have no home to reside at, nobody to talk to.
I’m frustrated, but not at you.”
He doesn’t care. Anything’s better than being here with a woman he used to love. A woman he used to cherish. He’s mad at himself. He’s angry that he didn’t find out sooner, that he didn’t have the guts to talk about it before it was too late.
“… I used to love you. I… I need time to think.”
We both once felt the same.
Before when life was complicated, their love was pure. The first line is a major hint that maybe she just didn’t “fall out of love”, maybe she met someone else? He’ll never know because he doesn’t care anymore.
“I’ll give you your space.”
Tomorrow, I doubt you’ll remember my name.